Apparently, I'm a Racist

Today at Ned's was quite the experience and I have no other way of putting it.

I found out something about myself that I never knew before. In all my years of living life and being you know, me, I suddenly discovered that I am a racist. Or at least according to some random insane customer I am.

Well I'll be damned(in a total hick/white-trash accent). Shoot, this here falla sure teached me a thing er two. I tell yah, we had ourselves a genius in this here restaurant I reckon. Now lets get ourselves a confederate flag, hook-up the trailer to the tow-hitch and have ourselves a party, celebrating my new found racism!

Some people really are stupid. I would use the word ignorant to describe this customer but why waste such a smart word on someone who's just plain stupid?

Curious as to how this moron came to the conclusion that I am a racist? Well, I'll tell yah.

It was a very hectic Thursday at Ned's. I run the whole restaurant on Thursdays and I am the only server. So since it was such a busy day, it was hard for me to pay extra attention to my customers. I usually chat with some of my regulars and mingle more when I have the time. But

today, I was too busy to even remember my name let alone socialize.

I had over 17 people filled tables and they all demanded something from me. It was pure madness. And in the midst of all this chaos, I had one other serious issue to tend to. I had to pee like a racehorse. So, I decided that the customers could hold their horses while I took care of business.

I was literally in the bathroom for half a minute when I returned to the dining room from the revealing door that reads "Restrooms" right smack dab on the top in bright green letter's.

And before the door closed behind me, a man grabbed my hand and aggressively shoved his bill and some money in my hand. Next he yelled "Hey are you going to take care of this or what? Where have you been? God! This is ridiculous."

I am not going to lie, I gave him the "I am flipping you off in my head right now" glare. He had it coming. He didn't have to be such a jerk. I mean seriously, why couldn't he take care of the bill with the cashier who was literally six feet away from him?

I gave Mr. jerk-face's bill to the cashier and asked them to take care of his payment. I had about 13 other people to deal with and this man was not at the top of my list of priorities if you catch my drift. Besides, he was finished, why did he absolutely need to receive his change from me personally? That's what cashiers are for.

I thought nothing of it and resumed to my duties as personal servant to all. Little did I know I had become a racist.

As I started to take some elderly folk's order, I heard a man's voice within earshot yelling, "Are you a racist or something? Why did you push my sister? Why are you so nice to everyone else but mean to me? You're a racist aren't you? Why are you a racist?"

I looked over at my poor elderly customers and apologized for the situation while in the meantime, the man was still screaming at me. And I mean, really screaming. Then I started to realize what he was saying and I became completely confused. "Racist?, I said in puzzled way. "Huh? Why am I a racist? I have no idea what you're talking about. I then looked at the guy and then I glanced over the whole restaurant and I came to the realization that Ned's was completely full of white-folk, myself included. But what the hell was he? He could have been a purple hippopotamus for all I knew or cared(he was asian, I think). Like I said, I was so busy you could have told me I was Tina Turner and I would have went with it. For crying out loud, did he really need to pull the racial card on me because I am white and had someone else give him his change?

Long story short, I kicked the man out. I told him he was acting inappropriate and threatened to call the police and so he left.

Well my friends, this is where the story ends. Now you know how I have become a racist. If you don't want this to happen to you, never let the cashier give your customer their change, especially if you're white. Now please excuse me, I need to put on my white cape.