Perverts and Pancakes

Today was a typical, yet interesting day at "Ned's." The sun was shining, the coffee was strong, and the food was warm. All seemed great and "normal' with the exception that some weird old-men decided it would be appropriate to hit on me while I served them their grub. The interesting thing about this was the fact that these men are regulars whom I thought were pretty cool dudes. I was wrong, they're not cool dudes they're just dirty old farts.

The first incident was with a man who comes in about once a month when he is in town on business(he's a pilot). This man who we'll just call, "Pervert Number One," mentioned to me that it was a beautiful day and I agreed and continued with my business of serving. A few minutes later as I was pouring coffee to another guest, pervert number one signaled me over to him. When I got over to his table he said, "You know, the pool at my hotel is beautiful, have you ever seen it?''

"Yes," I said. "And I have been in it several times. I used to have a gym membership there and the pool is part of the deal." Pervert Number One(who is an estimated 60 years old) than said "Would you like to come over to my hotel and change and then go for a swim?"

"Ummm, no thanks," I responded. I walked away feeling dirty. I might as well have had the word "hooker" tattooed on my forehead, because that's how I felt. Like a hooker.

What is wrong with this man? What makes him think that just because I served him his pancakes he can ask me to come over to his hotel? This also makes me wonder if he has been successful in the past. I mean, if he had the guts to ask me that question in the first place, he must have gotten his way before with somebody.

Bottom-line: I am not an idiot. I wasn't born yesterday, and I know a pervert when I see one. There's no way in hell I'm going to a perfect stranger's hotel room. I mean, he may be older than sin, but you never know. He could chop me up into a million pieces and put me in his suitcase. And I don't know about those other girls but grandpa's suitcase sure as hell isn't one of the places I'd like to visit before I die (or when I die).

The incident with Pervert Number Two was not nearly as degrading as perv number one but gross nonetheless. Pervert Number Two came in right after perv number one left. Perv Number Two ordered pancakes as well. While I was taking his order he asked me what size dress I wore and that he bets he could get me a nice dress. He then said, "I bet so many women would kill to be your size."

I don't care if these men have some deranged fantasy of me swimming  in a pool while wearing a  nun's outfit . They should keep this to themselves. I have one word for this: Gross! I just have one question. Why do perverts that order pancakes, have to come to Ned's? Why God, why?

A Random Rant

Hey y'all, I know this has nothing to do with the theme "Serving and Waiting," but bare with it. 

Since our teacher required us to post this rant to our blog and YouTube, it doesn't necessarily flow with my regular blog. My rant in particular has to do with a 14-year-old girl who posted nude pictures of herself on MySpace and is now being charged as a child pornographer. Tell me what your opinion is. Do you think a 14-year-old girl should have to be forced to register as a sex offender for this? Do you believe that she should face 17-years in prison for disrespecting herself? Do you feel like she is a child pornographer? I want to hear your thoughts on this subject.  Feel free to disagree with me. P.S. I am sorry if I look in all sorts of directions, I had no idea where my video cam was on this computer. I am still figuring out how to use my new imac.

Hot "Purse" of Coffee Anyone?

Today was a very weird day to say the least. I got to work at a very sunny 5 am, next I about fell right back asleep because nobody came in until about 8 am. I drank way too many cups of coffee and ate just about nothing. My boss, who is also the cook got the bright idea to call the second server and tell her not to bother coming into work because we were so slow. Very "UN-bright" idea on my boss's behalf. It was a Saturday morning and we are a very busy breakfast place and he was intending on making me run the whole joint, solo. Get the picture? He(my boss) pretty much fed me to the wolves.

Within ummm, I'd say twenty minutes of my boss telling the "help" to stay home, I got slammed(meaning, extremely busy). Pretty much everyone and their moms came in, and did I mention all at the same time? Needless to say I was in over my head. Do I even have a head? At this point, I really didn't know what the hell was going on. With that being said, I think for the most part I handled the chaotic day with ease and grace, like a true pro......well, maybe until about a hour before closing....that is about the time I became a real mess.

First I gave a customer(who is also a regular) his change. At this point you're probably thinking "Big deal, you gave him some change" but you see I sort of dropped his change in his Egg's Benedict while in mid-bite. That is right my friends, literally in his Egg's Benedict. The only unfortunate thing about this is the fact that this same guy has witnessed me do many other klutzy things not only to him, but many other customers. Wait, it gets better.

After I apologized to him repeatedly, I decided to go make my rounds with coffee and water. The only problem with that idea was the chair in my way and it sort of took me down. Ok, so I ate shit right in front of this same dude. Of course! The man then helps pick me up off of the floor as he mumbles "Well kid, you really are somethin else". I was mortified. And it only goes downhill from here.

I brushed myself off and finally made it outside to fill up coffee, clear dirty plates, drop checks and so fourth. I made it over to a table of some ladies and I grabbed their dirty dishes and asked if they'd like a final cup of coffee. One lady responded yes, and the other says she is not interested in anymore coffee. Well, I gave it to her anyways, let me just tell you. One of the women at the table kindly pointed out that I was pouring coffee into her friends purse. You heard right. I apparently was pouring the coffee into her purse the whole time and didn't even know it. I seriously filled this ladies purse with Farmer's Brother's darkest roast. As this was all taking place, that same man whom's Egg's benedict I ruined, happened to be standing behind me waiting to give me my tip. He then repeated "Well kid, like I said before, you really are something else". My response.."Hey man, That's the way I roll".

Change of Plans

Ok, I have decided that it is probably not the wisest decision to expose my work without their permission. I do not intend to ask them for their permission because I feel like I am maybe being too candid for their liking so I have decided to leave out the name and location of my work all together. I will just come up with a fictional beach and name. I really doubt anyone will see this but why run the risk of getting fired? Then I would have have nothing to blog about and "Serving and Waiting" would be pointless. I would then have to name the blog "Broke as a joke", or "Tales of a homeless street-walker", and that wouldn't be so good. Or would it....?

With that being said I have decided to look at my work place as a character and what that character would be called according to it's personality. If I had to sum up my work place, I would say that it is a very old man with ton's of amazing stories to tell about the adventures of his life. This is a man you'd love to sit down and have a coffee with. He is very endearing and warm. Someone you never get sick of and even if you do, you always come back for more. This is a man named Ned. That's right folks, I now work at Ned's.

"Who needs integrity anyways?" -- Follow-Up

Mr. Scauzillo, here is your follow up to my, "Who needs integrity anyways?" post.

The couple didn't come in for a good two weeks after I saw him out with the other woman. In all the time I have worked for Ned's, I have never gone without seeing the couple at least once a week. I wonder if maybe they temporally went on a hiatus and he was totally not cheating? Oh yeah, they are sort of...MARRIED. The guy is pretty much a slime ball in my opinion.

Back to the point. After their two-week absence, they have been coming in again as usual. Now the guy doesn't to talk to me and he won't order their meals. The wife is the one doing all of the ordering and communicating. Man, I wonder if she notices that he acts weird around me? Probably not. I bet she is clueless, and if she isn't than she is just as bad as he is. I would never want to trade places with them. Relationships that are like this are just flat out a waste of very precious life. It is just too bad.

A Whale of A Tale

It is a Thursday morning at the restaurant and I am brainstorming on my down time for not only my next blog, but also a good lead for my next broadcast package. As I sit at an empty table, I look out the window and glance ahead towards the ocean and see the whale watching boat getting ready to dock our pier. Last week I told its captain, Gary, that I was thinking about doing a story on whales and spin it on their migratory pattern or something to that effect, the only thing that was holding me back is the fact that I work most weekends and I am pretty sure I might be the sea-sickness type. I decided not to go. Little did I know I would miss out on quite a story.

So when the boat known as "The Voyager" finally docked the pier, it jolted the restaurant back and forth as it usually does. I feel a churn in my stomach, as I usually do, and I think to myself, "Oh yeah, definitely the sea sick type." I take a moment to collect myself and my guts before I get up and prepare to be bombarded by the whale watchers. And bombarded I was.

Captain Gary comes in as he always does to get his small cup of black coffee. Only this time he doesn't look quite like himself...he looks, wet? He then says to me, "Amie, you really should have gone on the boat with us today. You'll never guess what just happened." He then proceeds to tell me that a woman jumped off the whale watching boat right by a grey whale. She apparently went on the boat alone and just randomly jumped off when they first spotted the whale. Gary literally had to jump in with some of the other deck hands to get the woman back on the boat. At this point I am wishing I could jump off the boat myself for missing the opportunity to have captured this whole thing for my next story.

The story gets better. I ask Gary the typical five W's and the "how" and he tells me, "Well, when we asked her why she had jumped off the boat, she said she just wanted to swim with the fishes. It was all really weird, we just turned the boat right back around and released her to police and they just let her go home."

As funny as this story may seem, it's disturbing that the lady was just let go. She obviously was or is very disturbed. I really can't believe I missed out on this story. If I had been there, I think I would have pressed authorities to contact her family or at least commit her.