Perverts and Pancakes

Today was a typical, yet interesting day at "Ned's." The sun was shining, the coffee was strong, and the food was warm. All seemed great and "normal' with the exception that some weird old-men decided it would be appropriate to hit on me while I served them their grub. The interesting thing about this was the fact that these men are regulars whom I thought were pretty cool dudes. I was wrong, they're not cool dudes they're just dirty old farts.

The first incident was with a man who comes in about once a month when he is in town on business(he's a pilot). This man who we'll just call, "Pervert Number One," mentioned to me that it was a beautiful day and I agreed and continued with my business of serving. A few minutes later as I was pouring coffee to another guest, pervert number one signaled me over to him. When I got over to his table he said, "You know, the pool at my hotel is beautiful, have you ever seen it?''

"Yes," I said. "And I have been in it several times. I used to have a gym membership there and the pool is part of the deal." Pervert Number One(who is an estimated 60 years old) than said "Would you like to come over to my hotel and change and then go for a swim?"

"Ummm, no thanks," I responded. I walked away feeling dirty. I might as well have had the word "hooker" tattooed on my forehead, because that's how I felt. Like a hooker.

What is wrong with this man? What makes him think that just because I served him his pancakes he can ask me to come over to his hotel? This also makes me wonder if he has been successful in the past. I mean, if he had the guts to ask me that question in the first place, he must have gotten his way before with somebody.

Bottom-line: I am not an idiot. I wasn't born yesterday, and I know a pervert when I see one. There's no way in hell I'm going to a perfect stranger's hotel room. I mean, he may be older than sin, but you never know. He could chop me up into a million pieces and put me in his suitcase. And I don't know about those other girls but grandpa's suitcase sure as hell isn't one of the places I'd like to visit before I die (or when I die).

The incident with Pervert Number Two was not nearly as degrading as perv number one but gross nonetheless. Pervert Number Two came in right after perv number one left. Perv Number Two ordered pancakes as well. While I was taking his order he asked me what size dress I wore and that he bets he could get me a nice dress. He then said, "I bet so many women would kill to be your size."

I don't care if these men have some deranged fantasy of me swimming  in a pool while wearing a  nun's outfit . They should keep this to themselves. I have one word for this: Gross! I just have one question. Why do perverts that order pancakes, have to come to Ned's? Why God, why?